Thursday, 29 November 2007

Nov Application update and BMAT

So its the end of another month since i've applied for A100 now, and till now I've heard........
................. was my crappy BMAT results meh....
and from other unis i've heard...................
Absolutely nothing....

.....................which is sort of annoying, as if it was to be a rejection i rather know earlier least i'll make more of an effort with my MSc/MRes applications!

I don't really like the whole:
"well later the interview, the more practice time you get" to be honest... am i really practicing my interview skills now? ...Well... NO, NOT REALLY.

Though i won't be surprised to hear from UCL soon.. i have proven to myself to be the OH VERY AVERAGE student again ..this time with BMAT... landing the average mark for each section from those who have taken it, and scored lower in the first section ....Grrrr .. so perhaps the next thing i hear will be a rejection.

sec 1 : 4.0 (ouch!)
sec 2: 4.7 (average person once again)
sec 3: 7.5 (yup..average score again....)

Wednesday, 21 November 2007


Supportive teachers are rare, well for me they've been particulary hard to find; but recently i can add another to the list who i feel has not only done his job as a lecturer but has been very supportive...lets just call him Dr C.

If there was one module i think would severly hinder my chances of obtaining a first or even just a 2.1 would be bioinformatics. Dr C has given me a lot of support, meeting with him for private tutorials every week now just to go over the lecture, and making sure i understand, and that is exactly what happens; i walk out his office feeling like i have made another tiny step in the way of understand the topic.

Its not the first time i've been reminded of my stupidity by my tutors through-out my academic life, but today Dr C told me i was "a stupid girl who tries", he understands that i don't find bioinformatics easy, but i do try.. and very hard indeed.

Its very easy for someone to not try and not understand and just blame it on being lazy, but for me .. to try very hard and yet not understand..does that just make me uncapable?

I sometimes envy my friends who find it so easy to grasp a subject, but i always miss out how hard some have had to work to understand, whilst yes..there are also those who don't turn up to lectures, and arrives the day before the exam reading everything once and still get a 1st... i have a friend like that.

So.. just how hard must i have to try? Are results a good indicator to how hard someone has tried/worked?

The sad truth is that being "clever" i guess really is dependant on the person and not something you can ask for, knowledge is something you can acquire over time, so yes you can become very knowledgable after a period of study, but Clever-ness i feel is something that is either there or not.

I will just remain the girl who tries hard, and hopefully trying will get me through with the grade i need.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Falling behind

During the biology of cancer tutorial, i was randomly picked on again (2nd time in 3 weeks now in a classroom of about 30 odd students!) ..but this time my mind went blank, even though i finished the tutorial sheet the night before, and i had it all fresh in the morning, by the time i got to the tutorial in the afternoon i just couldn't answer the question...

i think im lying to myself if i said i knew the work though, i was only able to jot down the answer on the tutorial sheet after scrummaging through my notes for the answer the night before, yet when we swapped answer sheets my mind went blank when i was picked on..

i would like to think it was because i was a bit shocked from being picked on to answer the first queston, but in fact i think i just havn't been working at all, whilst others who got picked on answered their questions straight away, i sat there blank.

Its sort of scary, as i am starting to doubt whether i am capable of achieving a first class now, as everything now seems so much harder, and the pace is too quick for me to be up to date with notes everyweek... in all honesty i would be happy to get a 2.1 now if i can even just acheive that!

Friday, 9 November 2007

Dried mango

im at the library working furiously ..but im so hungry, and don't want to go and get food cos i dont want to leave my laptop unattended, and i dont want to loft my laptop to the canteen with me... ..lucky i have with me a bag of dried mango i bought earlier on in the day at sainsburies...

so im nibbling away at a pack of dry mango from sainsburies.
Dried mango from sainsburies is really bad , the ones im eating secretly in the library now has the smell of feet and the texture of someones rubbery swollen sole is THAT BAD..

...but i am hungry..and it will have to do for eating my banana is too big a risk, being caught will mean i'll be banned from the libraray for a week
(eating that banana on the tube home today will be the highlight of my day)

so to conclude..i will be buying raisins or nuts next time, as eating feet is not that nice... no one has sat next to me at the lib today.. i blame it on the eau de feet ~!

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Wasting reading week....

Reading week thus far has been incredibly.... un-productive!!

Weekend was spent building some puzzle with my friend, then off out to stevenage to visit other friends doing a placement year.. and finally to finish the weekend by joining some friends to eat chichuan(sp?) hot pot.... let me put emphasis on the word "HOT", as the chilli oil laden broth bubbled away i could only start to feel sorry for my mouth and my two ulcers, yet my tongue was telling me how tasty it was and that i should just gobble it all i decided to do just that!!

monday... well it was an excuse to be lazy and take the day off as a "relax-ing day" .. fair enough i should take a break after working quite hard this half of term

tuesday... i took another day off.. being a lazy bum and not doing any work at all and starting to hate myself for it

wednesday (today) i planned to go into uni to find a tutor so he can give me some guidance to my coursework..and hopefully i'll come back feeling inspired to work again... i feel the tv is seriously hindering my work.. as i have no self discipline and prefer spending time watching the telly than read my notes and making sure i do well ...EEK!

still not heard from any of my medical applications yet.. so i'm just going to keep on waiting, hoping and eating.