Friday, 28 December 2007

Random Ramblings, UCAS, MSc and MRes applications

Christmas was dull, holidays have been poorly spent, and i have found a new desire to read novels.

Will first (after my coursework) read The Devil in Amber by Mark Gatiss, it's a sequel to the very good The Vesuvious Club, which follows the story of Lucifer Box, who isn't exactly your typical secret serivce agent. It was a fun, refreshing book to read, and i truly look forward to reading the sequel which is sitting on my shelf yawning to be read. I will then aim to finish the remaining un-read books on my shelf before i buy anymore books.. i have the tendancy to walk into a book store and pick up a few books, and leave them on my shelf for a very long time! (i will break this habit, and shall therefore finish the books before i buy anymore!)

I wake up every moning eager to check the post and my email account to see if i have received anything in regards to my application, its almost as if i get a small adrenaline rush every morning as soon as i wake up or hear the post coming through the postbox i rush to see if anything is there from the universities... however i have only been dissapointed so far in not hearing anything.

I'm not sure why, but i am starting to have doubts on wanting to study medicine, i am probably just going through a phase because i havn't heard anything yet, or whether i am awakening to an interest in science research. Why do i want to study medicine - this is truly a question i find hard to pin point, i have so many reasons which edged me into applying for medicine in 2005, and once again this october. Although my ideas of life have changed and i don't really know what i want to do anymore, its almost like im having a pre-mature mid-life crisis!! Well, i'll leave the life decisions when i hear back from my applications, including those for MSc and MRes of which all are for London Universities.

Is it obvious i love London? I'm not sure if its because i love living here, or if its because i have never lived elsewhere and i have a very bias view of the countryside? I would love to try living in the tranquil countryside, but i like having a supermarket nearby and the convenience of a nightbus to get me home on late nights... I like the options, the choices, the shops, my friends who live here, the restraunts, the busy fast-paced lifestyles, and i love my bedroom haha.. perhaps a bad reason, but i honestly can't iamgine having a different bedroom, or living without my dog now.. sad as it may sound.. but one of the reasons i want to stay in london is for my dog's sake.... ok i sound a little silly, but i don't want to ever have to give him away.

Anyways, thats random rambling over.

Sunday, 23 December 2007

December application update


.....nothing! >.<

As its now the 23/12 most people have gone on holidays now, and royal mail are on their hols, so .. im not going to hear anything now until after new years... so im pretty certain december is going to be a month of no news ~.~
Which is annoying as im starting to develop false hopes, and would now be more upset in the case of 4 big R's to come in the new year.


30/11 - BMAT results


5/10 - Form sent
8/10 - Manchester confirmation
11/10 - Ucas welcome letter was received
12/10 - BSMS asks to see a copy of my transcript
15/10 - Ucas deadline
17/10 - UCL confirmation
19/10 - Sent my transcript to BSMS via recorded delivery
22/10 - Royal mail delivered my transcript to BSMS
25/10 - Barts confirmation
31/10 - BMAT test

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

UKCAT - vr section scrapping~

Got this via email this morning :

"Dear __________________,
Extensive quality checks on all the tests that have been taken have beenperformed. UKCAT has some concerns about the Abstract Reasoning subtestthis year. To ensure absolute fairness to all candidates, medical anddental schools have been informed and therefore have not and will nottake into consideration this component of the UKCAT results forselection for 2008 entry only."

Midly glad, as my ukcat score goes up to a slightly better 620.. well.. im still a weak candidate so not much of a BIG difference :S Am slightly glad it was AR (my worst section) and not any other.. im sure if i had my highest mark in AR i would be complaining and whining a bit now, though it just goes to show how useless the UKCAT actually is..

i still think the BMAT is a far superior test.. ok i didn't shine on that test either, but i feel it tests candidates for skills which actually do come in quite handy for medschool.. unlike the ukcat ..

Status on application.. still... nothing .. not even a squeak or even a spot of false hope!
have been reading on the NMM forum, some applicants ahve rung barts up and made enquiries about their application status..well... if only i was brave enough to pick up the phone, i feel getting a rejection on a bit of paper, or on the computer monitor in my bedroom will be more comforting that one over the phone... followed by a long silence, or perhaps some unintentional swearing.. so...

i will just wait ~

Handed in my essay for protein sturcture and function, so thats out the way now ~ got 95% on my practical write up ^.^YAY! ...though when i trhink about it.. it was only worth 10% of the module so the difference between a 2.1 and a 1st in this case was only 1% to the overall grade.. so.. well.. 9.5% is better than nothing, just hope my essay will score highly too, that oens a ickle bit more important, worth 20% of the course ~.~

X'mas soon, and my rents are leaving the day before, so i'll be alone with my dog and some notes a book and perhaps some instant noodles...sad... i know... but will be having my friends round the day after, .... though yes.. xmas is going to be pretty crappy this year round !

So... whats with the work load this xmas :
free radical critique - 30%
bioinformatics assignment II and III - altogether worth 80%! (100% cwrk module ><)
Note writing
journal reading
research project reading... this one is quite worrying.. its 3 modules worth of my final year.. and .. well neuroscience doesnt seem like such a good idea anymore ~.~

Sunday, 16 December 2007

New printer, hot salt beef and an essay ~

Something a bit different from my normal posts, i spent some money on a new but severely needed printer today!! ^.^hopefully this will now last me another 5/6 years ... my previous printer has been with me since ~1999 ! its almost 10 years old! i thought i'd let it retire '.. good bye lexmark 3200... hello epson DX7450 ^.^

6 pages per minute (>.<)

resolution = 1200 x 1200 dpi

paper - well it had the tendency to take the whole bunch and tell me its stuck.. no wonder if it decides to suck in over 20 pages at a go!!! ~.~

New printer:
32 pages per minute (^^ yay my essay should hopefuly now print in one minute as opposed to the 5 minutes previously including the time i had to sort out the jams!)

resolution = 5760 x 1440 dpi (much better than previous one!)

paper - yes like normal printers just one piece of paper every time as its 'spose to!

oh..and what the hell i thought as i was there i would buy some paper.. so i bought one of them boxes for companies and yep theres now a pile (2500 pieces) of paper in my room~ .. well i do itend my printer to last a while ..and im not a fan of computer shopping so i bought everything i needed ..and hopefully i won't need to go back until i run out of ink.. though now thinking about it.. i should have bought more ink whilst i was there!

Mum and dad decided to go shopping today, and bought back a hot salt beef sandwich from selfridges food court.. and it didn't fail to be extremely good!!! Admittedly it is a bit pricey for a sandwhich but it would easily feed two and well... now and then its nice to have something different than my cheese and cranberry toasted sandwich.
(i have a jar of cranberry sauce i bought from borough market after a thursday lecture, and im finding it hard to finish it. So i've started to make cheese and cranberry sandwiches for the past month or so.. but theres still a bit left >.<) Anyhooots my molecular mechanisms of beta-amyloid initiation and aggregation leading to alzheimer's disease is due in tomorrow 4pm.. so i best get on with that now ~^.^ p.s ...still noy heard anything from the bloody unis ~*sigh

Saturday, 15 December 2007

End of Semester 1 ~

So its the end of semester 1 at king's yesterday, and well, it was apparent as only half of the class turned up, as most have left the night before to head off back home..sadly nothing intersting like that for me, i live... just over an hour away, so not much of an exciting journey for, but none the less, it does feel good to have the term over, and know i get to lie in next week ^.^!

Its been an ok interesting semester, i really enjoyed my courses this year, really enjoyable and really interesting for once actually!!!!

On a not so cheery side I have a friend who has been getting on my nerves a bit, he graduated with a 2.2 for his degree yet everytime he asks me randomly how my coursework went etc, he seems to enjoy saying that the lecturers are lazy and aren't responsible markers when i do well, and says i should have worked harder and not been so lazy when i get a 2.1 score.... its slightly he is dead serious about it, and especially when its coming from him, as he obviously didn't do very well himself. I don't exactly expect him to be giving me compliments or anything, and in fact i wouldn't have told him how i did unless he asked, but it would be nice to just say "ah ok", or something neutral than have to spend time criticising my score everytime.. its like he enjoys making me feel inept about my performance :S

anyways .. on the ucas application side of things.. well i havn't heard anything still.. (sorta of annoying..) >.<

i had a friend who was sitting infront of me in the computer room and she turns round and says shes got a ucas update (a rejection as she has had no interviews), i really wanted to ask where her rejection was from as i wanted to know if it involved any of the unis i had applied to aswell, but i thought that was slightly rude and just not very nice..... so i am still left guessing whats happening with my application.

Friday, 7 December 2007


Though i havn't heard back yet i do feel this year everything seems out of reach and i feel especially that ucl is very out of my league.

It's frustrating, as i am such an impatient person, and any news, even if it was to be a rejection would be some news.. and i'll be able to accept that.. just please unis.. tell me something...rather than have me flapping around on a piece of string wondering wondering wondering.. perhaps im just worried of waiting till feb having some hope and Bang Bam Whallop 4 rejections in one month.. wow that would hurt.. !!

Haha i feel that this blog is gradually becoming a place for me to whine whine and yes.... whine some more!

Wednesday, 5 December 2007

another wednesday

BIOINFORMATICS --> sooooo glad assignment 1 is over now.. can't be more glad its over and out the way!!

now only 9 days until my last semester 1 at KCL ! WOW .... biochem BSc has gone by so quickly, quite sad its almost over.. and also quite scared as i don't like the uncertanty of what i may be doing next year (¬.¬" )

i've decided not to go to the IC open day, as im pretty much sure what i want to apply for , and well i need to start on my alzheimer's essay for next thursday, its only 4000 word limit, so thats a healthy 444 words a day from today..

Ucas application form 2007 is almost 2 months old now.. i wonder when i'll hear its firsts words ?! - very anxious and getting a bit impatient now ... i hate the wait !

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Nov Application update and BMAT

So its the end of another month since i've applied for A100 now, and till now I've heard........
................. was my crappy BMAT results meh....
and from other unis i've heard...................
Absolutely nothing....

.....................which is sort of annoying, as if it was to be a rejection i rather know earlier least i'll make more of an effort with my MSc/MRes applications!

I don't really like the whole:
"well later the interview, the more practice time you get" to be honest... am i really practicing my interview skills now? ...Well... NO, NOT REALLY.

Though i won't be surprised to hear from UCL soon.. i have proven to myself to be the OH VERY AVERAGE student again ..this time with BMAT... landing the average mark for each section from those who have taken it, and scored lower in the first section ....Grrrr .. so perhaps the next thing i hear will be a rejection.

sec 1 : 4.0 (ouch!)
sec 2: 4.7 (average person once again)
sec 3: 7.5 (yup..average score again....)

Wednesday, 21 November 2007


Supportive teachers are rare, well for me they've been particulary hard to find; but recently i can add another to the list who i feel has not only done his job as a lecturer but has been very supportive...lets just call him Dr C.

If there was one module i think would severly hinder my chances of obtaining a first or even just a 2.1 would be bioinformatics. Dr C has given me a lot of support, meeting with him for private tutorials every week now just to go over the lecture, and making sure i understand, and that is exactly what happens; i walk out his office feeling like i have made another tiny step in the way of understand the topic.

Its not the first time i've been reminded of my stupidity by my tutors through-out my academic life, but today Dr C told me i was "a stupid girl who tries", he understands that i don't find bioinformatics easy, but i do try.. and very hard indeed.

Its very easy for someone to not try and not understand and just blame it on being lazy, but for me .. to try very hard and yet not understand..does that just make me uncapable?

I sometimes envy my friends who find it so easy to grasp a subject, but i always miss out how hard some have had to work to understand, whilst yes..there are also those who don't turn up to lectures, and arrives the day before the exam reading everything once and still get a 1st... i have a friend like that.

So.. just how hard must i have to try? Are results a good indicator to how hard someone has tried/worked?

The sad truth is that being "clever" i guess really is dependant on the person and not something you can ask for, knowledge is something you can acquire over time, so yes you can become very knowledgable after a period of study, but Clever-ness i feel is something that is either there or not.

I will just remain the girl who tries hard, and hopefully trying will get me through with the grade i need.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Falling behind

During the biology of cancer tutorial, i was randomly picked on again (2nd time in 3 weeks now in a classroom of about 30 odd students!) ..but this time my mind went blank, even though i finished the tutorial sheet the night before, and i had it all fresh in the morning, by the time i got to the tutorial in the afternoon i just couldn't answer the question...

i think im lying to myself if i said i knew the work though, i was only able to jot down the answer on the tutorial sheet after scrummaging through my notes for the answer the night before, yet when we swapped answer sheets my mind went blank when i was picked on..

i would like to think it was because i was a bit shocked from being picked on to answer the first queston, but in fact i think i just havn't been working at all, whilst others who got picked on answered their questions straight away, i sat there blank.

Its sort of scary, as i am starting to doubt whether i am capable of achieving a first class now, as everything now seems so much harder, and the pace is too quick for me to be up to date with notes everyweek... in all honesty i would be happy to get a 2.1 now if i can even just acheive that!

Friday, 9 November 2007

Dried mango

im at the library working furiously ..but im so hungry, and don't want to go and get food cos i dont want to leave my laptop unattended, and i dont want to loft my laptop to the canteen with me... ..lucky i have with me a bag of dried mango i bought earlier on in the day at sainsburies...

so im nibbling away at a pack of dry mango from sainsburies.
Dried mango from sainsburies is really bad , the ones im eating secretly in the library now has the smell of feet and the texture of someones rubbery swollen sole is THAT BAD..

...but i am hungry..and it will have to do for eating my banana is too big a risk, being caught will mean i'll be banned from the libraray for a week
(eating that banana on the tube home today will be the highlight of my day)

so to conclude..i will be buying raisins or nuts next time, as eating feet is not that nice... no one has sat next to me at the lib today.. i blame it on the eau de feet ~!

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Wasting reading week....

Reading week thus far has been incredibly.... un-productive!!

Weekend was spent building some puzzle with my friend, then off out to stevenage to visit other friends doing a placement year.. and finally to finish the weekend by joining some friends to eat chichuan(sp?) hot pot.... let me put emphasis on the word "HOT", as the chilli oil laden broth bubbled away i could only start to feel sorry for my mouth and my two ulcers, yet my tongue was telling me how tasty it was and that i should just gobble it all i decided to do just that!!

monday... well it was an excuse to be lazy and take the day off as a "relax-ing day" .. fair enough i should take a break after working quite hard this half of term

tuesday... i took another day off.. being a lazy bum and not doing any work at all and starting to hate myself for it

wednesday (today) i planned to go into uni to find a tutor so he can give me some guidance to my coursework..and hopefully i'll come back feeling inspired to work again... i feel the tv is seriously hindering my work.. as i have no self discipline and prefer spending time watching the telly than read my notes and making sure i do well ...EEK!

still not heard from any of my medical applications yet.. so i'm just going to keep on waiting, hoping and eating.

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

BMAT HELL + bloody uni work load!

BMAT WAS HARD TODAY .. i dread to see my results in about 3 weeks time... !
section 1 - ok not too bad
section 2 - rushed it, did no calculations random guesses
section 3 - utter failure!

thats adios to ucl... and nervous wait for the rest as ive not heard anything yet... !


on a nice note.. its reading week next week, so i've got some time to catch up and work...
all the following due before end of semester A...eek!

practical write up x 1
- protein structure and design (10%)

essay x 3
- bioinformatics (20%)
- protein structure and design (20%)
- free radicals in health and disease (30%)

assesment x 1
- biology of cancer (5%)

so in a nutshell... its going to be a tough reading week!

Thursday, 25 October 2007

October Update on the application side of things:

5/10 - Form sent
8/10 - Manchester confirmation
11/10 - Ucas welcome letter was received
12/10 - BSMS asks to see a copy of my transcript
15/10 - Ucas deadline
17/10 - UCL confirmation
19/10 - Sent my transcript to BSMS via recorded delivery
22/10 - Royal mail delivered my transcript to BSMS
25/10 - Barts confirmation
31/10 - BMAT test

Monday, 22 October 2007


An international student friend of mine recently added: "Voice broken" to the end of his msn nickname.. im not sure if i should tell him that usually refers to the onset of puberty in boys, as he seems to have mistaken it, thinking it means he has lost his voice after having the flu for a while now.. it is slightly rude for me to point it out .. so i havn't told him yet.. and he has been using that in his nickname for the past week now... maybe he'll change that soon as he gets better.

Finally got a western blot to work!!! SO HAPPY with the results as its taken 6+ attempts to get this right! Hopefully this won't be a one-off, and i'll have some others working so i can get some good results for my final year research project dissertation!
Left - immunufluorescent image @600nm
Right - B/W scan
(i prefer it in B/w!)

Wednesday, 17 October 2007


ucas deadline was yesterday, so am set to hear from unis soon (i hope)....
waiting and frantic ucas track checking begins today!!

Saturday, 13 October 2007

To Send or Not To Send... THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Was checking my mail during my bioinformatics workshop.. i know i should have been working on the bioinformatics rather than checking mail.. but i was so stuck and there was a sea of waving hands in front of me.. and as i was sat one of the back rows.. i thought i'd check some mail...
Received mail from bsms, so i thought it just going to be another "welcome" or "confirmation" email like the one i received from manchester.. but instead it read:

"Thank you for your application to study medicine at the Brighton & Sussex Medical School.
It might be to your advantage to submit directly to our admissions office a copy of your full degree transcript. This is the document recording the names of the courses or modules that you have taken (or taken to date) and the mark or grade awarded for each. Copies of degree certificates are not required at this stage.
We would appreciate receiving this information as soon as possible, but in any event within one month. " with emphasis on the "...MIGHT be to your advantage.." are they trying to imply that it might also be to my disadvanage??!!

EEK its quite scary as things seem to be progressing very quickly.... i didn't even expect to hear from any unis in regards to confirmations etc till at least after the 15th october.. but it seems like unis have already started going through their applications...

if i don't send they may think i have something to hide from them....

-----------i'll probably ponder on the question for another half a week or so ....

update: i decided to send it in at the end ~ bloody hell it cost me £6.50! ..i hope its going to be £6.50 well spent... ><

Tuesday, 9 October 2007


An interesting fact i picked up on a little fact sheet from last years open day tours... was.....

King's College London is the only university with its own McDonalds on campus..

and yep.. i can confirm that theres a door which connects the student union to mcdonalds, and flashing student cards entitles us to a free mcflurry/cheeseburger/hamburger when purchasing a meal... ok... cut it short.. i have had more mcdonalds since starting uni this year compared to my entire summer..... (i went twice in the summer, once to take the kids i was volunteering with to treat them to a sundae, and second was a treat from a friend who just decided to treat me to ..yes.. sudae... ) ... and it is incredibly bad for me..and throws the idea of healthy eating out the window!!!
..and ..yes i had McD again for lunch TODAY ...

another random fact... the vending machine is 25% more expensive at waterloo campus compared to the vending machine at guy's campus...

ok im starting to sound very unhealthy now.........

hopefully i won't have to eat so many "fast meals" next semester!

Friday, 5 October 2007


"Your application has been processed by UCAS. You will be sent a welcome letter containing your application number to enable you to log into Track. You will be able to use the username and password you used when making your application" the waiting game begins

When i logged into track today to see if my tutor has finally sent it or not (its already been almost 2 weeks since i sent it to him!), i was happy to come across the above passage!
Though at first glimpse it did send a shudder down my back as it indicates how close its all getting...
...... interviews, offers, rejections, all of which could be arriving in the post sometime soon!!!

finished 2nd week of lectures of the 3rd year....... times just flies by.. i still remember enrolling on my first day of uni...

ah perhaps its more appropriate for me to leave the sentimental speech when i finally graduate.. its a bit too early, and i don't want to get my hope up high... as the worst thing that can happen now.. is i mess up my exams and repeat a year...HORROR! or even worse... i graduate with anything less than a 2.1 !! that would definately throw all plans out the window!

Going about look up on how and when i apply for masters, i want to keep my options open in case i get 4 rejections this year, then at least i can spend a year doing a mres/msc. Not going to apply for a phd as i don't want to commit myself to 3 years study just yet...
i think the mres is perfect as it gives me another year to apply for mbbs, and i also get to up my credentials. Will give some time for me to do some more work experience and perhaps get some hands on experience as a part time HCA would be good, but theres no time for that this year.. !

lucky ucas apply hasn't given me my track details yet.. as i would be obsessive checking it 24/7 already even though i know the unis don't even get the form till the 15th...

well its fingers and toes crossed...
let me wait patiently for a response wether it be good or bad... its .... note writing time! yes on a friday evening.. i am sad.. at home finishing some notes on vitamin e and other low molecular weight antioxidants .. so i can dedicate my weekend to biology of cancer... meh >.<

Thursday, 4 October 2007

Western Blotting Ghost

Behold.. the western blotting ghost is haunting the labs of the wolson centre at guy's campus...!!!

i fell victim to it today as i spent 6 hours to totally mess up my experiment, break 2 glass plates, waste 10 litres of running buffer, and end up losing a lot of the samples!
So in the matter of the 6 hours ( i woke up especially early in hope i would get there early and finish early so i can get home to walk the dog.. !) i ended up where i started and left the labs having finished just preparing two more gels and leaving them in the cold room until i go back next time.... WASTE OF TIME!



Finished writing up lecture notes for the first 2 lectures of the free radical module, and i have this coming weekend to make sure i'm up to date with other courses and i don't end up falling behind like i did last year.... must make all my notes before christmas!!!

tutor has finally touched my ucas form..but he still hasn't finished it yet or even sent it.. i hope he does it soon as the deadline is looming!!

on the whole.. im quite tired..but slowly getting use to uni lifestyle again, and should be well adapted soon... !!

Sunday, 30 September 2007

A Week into uni ~

Been back at uni for a week now, not exactly finding things easy, but things aren't too bad either. Current timetable means i have 5 day a week days most ending at 4pm, though to be accurate i only have 4 days of lectures, wednesday i ahve to go in and "improve my technique" for my lab project...
in regards to that.. i have yet to do a succesful western blot...gosh are they bloody hard to do well!!

Free Radicals in health and disease on mondays
...not too bad, quite intersting so far.. but seems to be a lot of cycles involved..which isn't good .. as i hate learning cycles!

Biology of Cancer A on tuesdays
...really intersting so far!! ..but a lot of new terms for me.. especially since i havn't studied a anatomy/physiology based module since year 1 ! Overall i think i'll enjoy the course, though i know it won't be easy to do well...

Lab on wednesdays
...boring.. repetitive... hope to be a western blotting pro.. but perhaps only in my dreams.. i am yet to make one work well!

Protein structure and design on thursday
..this should be renamed protein engineering... and i quote the lecturer on that. haven't really learnt much yet.. as the lecturer handed out a very familiar looking lecture note booklet on the day.. on closer inspection.. its exactly the same one he gave out to me in year 1 when we had a module on basic proteins in biochemistry.... that goes to show how lazy some of these lecturers are!

Bioinformatics on friday
...ok it is not easy.. theres a lot of work involved in terms of learning how to search online for sequences .. and theres just tooo many sites out there.. i find it difficult to catch up with the workshop as he speeds through the 4 hours session in 2.5 hours .. making it too fast paced.

...saturday and sundays.... being a sad-o writing up my notes at home and generally watching a lot of tv...
i watched X Factor today... im usually not a fan of these sort of reality music shows.. as i find most people end up voting for those they like rather than those who i believe deserved to win..but then i am a bias bum who always want the ones with a "sad" story to tell to win..

anyways.... terms of ucas.. well thats been sent to my tutor now for a week and hes not touched it ..the big bum!

...and in terms of brother-sister competition i have to at least get a 2.1 and hopefully a 1.1 as i don't want to "lose" to my brother ......

im immature. i know i shouldn't see studying as competition.
though in reality its not really competition at all.. more like i admire how well he does, and only wish i could have done so well.... and in fact it motivates me to work as i look up to him and hope i can just do as well as him.

This is perhaps the first time in my life i feel studying is actually really important, and that wanting to be a medical student/1st class student is one thing...
..............become a medical student or 1st class student is something completely different..

wanting doesn't equate to getting...

working my butt off and taking things seriously will get me nearer to it.. but nothing is for certain in life, and i just ought to work harder than i ever have in the past!

Sunday, 23 September 2007



After some time i think i've chosen between those universities for this years application cycle.. but on a realistic side.. i really don't feel too positive about my chances this year round...
Will have to wait and see how everything goes..
i would have loved to apply for more london universities.. but sadly i know im not cut out for IC or GKT medicine.. studying biochemistry at kcl is fine.. but medicine here is definately out of my league..

i am in no way saying any other medical schools are inferior to GKT or IC, just i would have quite liked to have studied medicine there, GKT as im a current student there studying biochemistry.. and i quite like the atmosphere here, and would love to continue on here; and IC because my brother studied there, i use to visit him, and he only had nice things to say about it, and after going to an open day.. i loved it..
............. but i barely meet their entrance requirements, and GKT have already said no through the GSS.......i don't want to sit the gamsat for St.Georges... so my choices rest with UCL and BARTS.

UCL ..its only 5 tube stops away from home!!!! so relatively close to home, and i like the uni itself, its location, and its atmosphere! .. i spent 9 months voluntarying at their hospitals during a-levels, and i seriously regret rejecting my offer to study pharmacology there now..(nothing wrong with kcl biochemistry.. but i realised how much i liked pharmacology after first year at kcl...)

BARTS..gave me my first and only offer for medicine when i applied during alevels, and i feel almost attatched to the institution though ive never really studied there. I would love to go to barts and continue my dream from a-levels, when it was my first choice on my application form...

Manchester.. well i can't imagine life without a tescos near by and easy transport, i like walking in the countryside now and then..but living there is a different story, i don't think i can cope spending 5 years away from home in a remote area, hence i chose a nice city, manchester.

BSMS ... i love the campus, its really pretty, and a big bonus.... its near(ish) london! so i can easily commute home on the weekend, and well it has a seafront!

---Lectures start MONDAY ~ EEEEK!
can finally start to call myself a FINAL YEAR STUDENT!

Friday, 21 September 2007

Been doing my research project for some time now, and its starting to become quite enjoyable..

Also had course advising today and got to finally confirm my modules next year, and im ready for my first lecture on monday morning ^.^
To prepare myself for the year, went and bought the student accessories... 3 huge A4 folders (2 for 3 offer) and a big narrow ruled pad... and....... thats it! (.. as im quite broke recently!)

Saw my tutor on wednesday and have my reference almost ready well.. he needs me to tell him about my "team-work" and "leadership" skills, and need him to give me some feedback on my personal statement...then im ready to send off my ucas and play the "waiting game" ......

Friday, 7 September 2007

Research project


Unexpected keen-ness from my supervisor means he insists i start early ..infact 2 weeks before uni even starts to get some practical work done..... hmm.. perhaps i should have went to find him at a later date.. its pretty much everyday until uni starts, oh and two days off that for two days work as a student ambassador..yay paid work!!

asked what i should bring on monday.. and the only item he asked me to bring was...................................... a mug for coffee/tea breaks haha ^.^ sounds like fun already !!

though during our conversation as with most conversations with scientists, they always seem to end up asking me:

"so what do you want to do career wise? will you be applying for medicine?"

...then comes an uncomfortable silence as i try to think through if its wise to tell them that i want to apply for medicine or not.. some scientists are quite anti-medics, whilst some just expect all undergrads to want to go into medicine.. so its an uncomfortable question i feel.

BMAT revision begins

Revision for the BMAT begins today as the guide book for it arrived in the post today.. with my copy of "cook yourself thin" cookbook which is absolutely amazing.. never knew there are so many healthy alternatives, it definately puts me in the mood to do some grocery shopping tomorrow after seeing my tutor and printing off the forms etc and go home to cook something out the book for dinner, and have a cosy night in before i go out to visit my friend for the weekend whose currently doing a year in industry at GSK stevenage at the mo, where the fields and hills are haha.

Back to revision..well im surprised how much physics i have forgotten since gcse... i know almost NO physics what-so-ever unless we're talking about forces which i can still remember the concepts to..but no calulcations or anything electrical eeeek.....! im surprised with the biology too.. some questions are quiet easy (well the biochem degree does help with the bio and chem..ahem!) but some questions completely throws me out my comfort zone.. ive not touched some areas of biology for all those questions based on genetics are fine.. but hopefully nothing in depth about reproduction please!!

i've finally cut my list of places to apply by a big chunk, currently will be applying to UCL and BL (5 years) for definate, and its a hard choice between:

BSMS , Warwick GEP, Soton GEP, and Durham

I want to stay near london .. i love london .. a LOT and can't imagine leaving it..but when it boils down to staying in london or studying medicine..well thats a hard choice ... as wussy as it sounds.. its going to 4/5 years away from home, and from what i've heard no place is comparable to london in terms of atmosphere... so ... its a hard choice..

i quite like durham, its a beautiful town.. nice area .. but very quiet.. and very far.. but it would almost be dream like to study there and pop into the town centre where the beatiful spires are...but 100 of miles away from home.

Warwick would be nice as its not too far and its a course designed for graduates in the life sciences which will make fitting in not a big issue, and warwick isn't too far from london so i can almost drive/train it home to london on the weekends if i felt homesick.

Soton and BSMS are by the sea! and both around 1 hour from london which makes them close to london, which fits my criteria, and also very nice areas. Havn't seen soton yet but bsms was a very nice uni, it had a very nice feel to the campus, and the fact that it was a campus based uni made it feel extra special..

so there are my thoughts so far.. i still have time to decide where to apply..but its just a hard decision.. and the worst thing is at the end of april i may be rejected from all 4 which would be a really big kick.

anyhoots will be seeing my tutor in 7 hours or so.. should sleep now!

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Reality of final year

Got my UKCAT score.. and well im not too pleased with it.. and all to my stupidiy of not working on the abstract reasoning part.. ekk.. i did okish in the two sections i practiced, and the other 2 well.. they weren't as good .. and i've got the very average score of 602.5 ...

hmm.. well BMAT registration form i'll get sorted this friday, and only for UCL. As a london-er i'd really like to stay in london for mbbs too, but all other london unis seem to select via ukcat ... so all rests on a good bmat score over 19 now.. However, knowing that its almost impossible and only a small handfull of students actually achieve higher than this score.. im not going to put too much hope on it, and just hope theres an element of luck on the day...

Another reason to get the bmat registration form sorted on friday is due to the fact that my 7 year old printer at home has decided to run out of ink when i needed it, and as im too lazy to buy ink, im just going to wait until friday when i go into uni to meet my research project supervisor to print out the application form on the uni comps. Oooooh my supervisor's interest is "biochemistry of alzheimer's disease" which is PERFECT! i loved studying AD last year, fascinating stuff.... honest!

Friday seems to soon, and summer seems to have almost drawn to an end now, uni work starts again soon enough, and i, still pretty clueless about neuroscience..which isn't good as i really ought to show i have done my reading before i meet my supervisor...

....................... I KID YOU NOT!!
i am soooo clueless to what i am expected to do in the coming year.... i just hope i find out soon.. as im the type that likes to prepare for things way in advance...

Course advising is on the 21st im sort of tempted to switch my parasitology in tropical disease module to the biology of aging module, but im not too sure yet, the latter seems "easier" as elements of it overlap with another module which equates to less work, but the former module sounds more interesting, and i have a genuine interest in it.. so its a tough choice!

Before course advising i've got some student ambassador work on the 11 and 12th on the University of london open days, so i may have a quick peek whilst im there what other london med schools may be looking for.. though my bright red kcl tshirt i will have to wear to work on the day may make me look a bit silly..

Well here comes the reality part of the post... its finally here, final year.....

1 months till i apply to mbbs again and sit bmat
2 months till bmat results
3 months till i start applying for masters
4 months till i start hearing from unis if i havn't already been rejected
5 months till i hear back from all unis whether its good or bad news
6 months till final year exams
7 months till i have an anxious wait for exam results
8 months till i graduate [luck inserted here] !

Thursday, 30 August 2007

UKCAT scare

OH gosh..... UKCAT tomorrow afternoon..and practice tests seems to indicate i'll be getting dire results tomorrow!! oh please let me randomly guess all the answers for verbal reasoning correctly... that is by far THE HARDEST part of the test!!

Friday, 24 August 2007

Blog away my time

so rather than starting my work i've just sat here and decided to blog... im sure this is my way of getting out or even just delaying starting "work".. theres just too many distractions in my bedroom.... tv ... pc .....nds lite ..... bed!!! ahhhh too many things to keep me away from the desk and few to keep me there!

Sitting at my desk in my bedroom shows how easy it is to waste time. I've woken up since 10am and sat here infront of the laptop for almost 2 hours now with no work done..even though i know i ought to finish my summer reading soon, or at least attempt to get most of it done before next week, which i'll dedicate 100% to ukcat practice etc ..

luckily i got a research project allocated for my 3rd year, and so far i don't know much about it other than its based on Alzheimer's Disease, which is pretty good since i really enjoyed studying it last year in my molecular medicine module (yay i got a 1st for this module ^^) .

Though i've been told "a previous knowledge of neuroscience is extremely helpful.... " which basically meant my supervisor has set me to read ~400 pages out a neuroscience book and several j0urnals and articles before i meet him....

perhaps i should work now... er...not in the mood......


Sad i din't get an interview through the graduate screening scheme at KCL, and internal selection scheme which guarantees an interview for their students for the 5year MBBS if succesful. I would have loved to continue on at kcl, as i love the atmosphere here and the location and people are all v.friendly..but with the failed GSS attempt, im definately not going to apply to kcl this september as i feel my chances here have already been considered.

This sort of makes me start to feel the stress of medicine application as i've received my first rejection even before the round of ucas applications have started! (>.<)

With that in mind i also feel the pressure for my ukcat exam next friday... as so much lies on the test and a poor result on the ukcat can almost kiss goodbye my chances of getting an interview for medical school this year.. let alone an offer...

Also .. ukcat results should help me decide where to apply more or less, though my confidence has hit rock bottum..

lets just see how things go next week first...........

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

after the summer vacation

All the stressful revision went well and i finally back from my almost 3 month long holiday.

Somehow managed to pull through second year getting a highish 2.1 (67.5% average) which i think i was lucky to even get a 2.1 this year being such a lazy bum until the easter period...
but it does give me hope that hopefully this year i'll be able to pull off a 1.1 if i work hard from the here starts the early reading ~.~

Application for medschool starts again soon enough... it feels like im doing alevels again in the sense that i feel its my last chance to get into medschool and that so much rests on the summer exams to come... just like alevel.. however this also brings back the bad memories of how i managed to miss my offer back then by a few ums marks... i am scared i may do the same this year..but fear isn't necessarily a bad leasts its making me wanting to work harder this year and make sure i dont repeat a little part of history best left in the past...!

i have my ukcat exam coming up next friday 31st august... i hope all goes well and i get a good score to boost my i have to admit my alevel grades are not stunning andwell my gcse grades..they are hardly spectacular either...hence the need to get a nice-ish score.... but i feel its going to be another matter of luck... as im not too sure how to go about revising for this ....!

I do know deep inside that there is a possibility i will get 4 straight rejections, and thats not something unexpected as medicine has been known to be highly competitive..and if thats the case for this year, i will just work my butt off and apply to medicine again once i have graduated.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

PRO PLUS is AMAZING! the title implies.... PRO PLUS is ... AMAZING!! popped two down with a swig of water.. and im feeling all bright awake n bubbly again!! ~ NOW TO KILL MY ESSAY AND START REVISION !! with less than amonth till may.. i am dead.. but not feeling the stress yet..what is wrong with me ??!!

Sunday, 1 April 2007

I should be revising!

im watching precious revision time run through my fingers, and watching my academic and social life plummet into the dark hole in te corner of my bedroom where i shall rot away and mould for the next month............

before i jet off for the summer again ~ ^.^

Friday, 16 March 2007

FINISHED with HIV cwrk finally ~!!
-Now to do my Alzheimer Essay, and REVISE LIKE CRAZY!!

life has been dull lately, its really just evolved around my coursework, and stress over
too-little-time-too-much-work-to-be-done !
diet has been awful too.. just can't wait till its the summer so i can get a rest from work, and have some time to not worry about work and deadlines!

*edit update //
94% for my HIV coursework!!!! YAAAY!

Monday, 5 March 2007

HIV is killing me.. no i don't mean quite literally ... i mean the coursework based on it !!

Having to read a 10 page article is bad enough, now times that by 4 for a piece of coursework worth only 5%... now... imagine another 7 ontop of that for my essay on alzheimers worth 15% of the module...
...............ok.. i am not looking forward to Easter!!

Its been pretty stressful recently, a lot of work to be done, and probably need to teach myself 5 modules out of 8 in only 2months.. ok .. "screwed" is the word im looking for here!

Saturday, 17 February 2007

ok i take back what i said in my last post about wanting to do law..that would be probably the last jobs/degree i'd do.. can't imagine sitting in an office with a bunch of paperwork 9-5 (if one is lucky!...could possibly be 9-9) days!

ok im digging a hole now, what i meant to say is.. forget last post, was a spur of the moment thing, down to anger, stress and actions before thinking!! -stress from the things happening in my life, which are slowly being resolved, but i have been left scarred for life on how cruel some people can be!


Curent thoughts:

--future rests on wether i attain a 2.1 / 1st!


funny quote from Scrubs :

Turk: "Err sir....that's pronounced analgesic not anal-gesic. Thats why your headaches haven't been going away. The pills go in your mouth"

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Oh, what a turn in life.. considering studying law now.. life is so unfair, and the way the police goes around investigating.. well im not surprised the report of hundreds of people prosecuted incorrectly.

~Mr Blair .. go sort it out! ..or send someone else to..!

Thursday, 8 February 2007

A Start!

milk.. well.. not a true fan of milk unless its mixed in with my cup of tea, in some sort of milkshake (though true milkshakes have icecream!) and of course.. over me cornflakes in the morn.
BUT i do like the taste of tofu-ey milk.... or put better as Soya Milk... ah~!!!nothing better!
rather have a glass of soya milk over a glass of wine.. (yuk wine! give me the crappy alcopop anyday! - i may regreat saying this when im older..but who knows!)

So Why the sudden feeling to blog, well perhaps i'd like to fill up some internet space with my useless thoughts, (though im guessing very few people/no one will be reading this) and perhaps write a bit about my academic life as opposed to my social life (pretty crappy!)

all together a very average student; the typical student who doesnt achieve well (lacks of A*/A) and manage to just get away passing ok (B/2.1) every year.

whats next.. well... hopefully will be applying for medical school this september coming.. ah.. kicked myself a trillion times since i missed my offer by 10 ums marks ARGHHHHH and chucked my place to medical school ... ah.. if only back then i knew tv wasnt going to help me learn my bloody organic chemistry! ..ok well honestly.. i was just a lazy ass!

Now im struggling to keep up to date with uni work, im pretty screwed, looks like i will be spending time with dear library this weekend, and the nights to follow untill im done with exams!

Hopefully in years to follow i'll be reading back on this as a diary on my route through uni and "fingers and toes crossed" through medical school.

ah its 11pm now.. perfect timing to go do some more gentic cloning..hating genetics!